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Matilda Fairholm
Matilda Fairholm

2.7K Followers

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Published in P.S. I Love You

·Pinned

How to Identify Safe People

When your track record isn’t good — It’s an unfortunate truth that people hurt people. We are all capable of inflicting pain, and sometimes we do. The difference though is that healthy people who occasionally hurt people feel genuine remorse and a strong desire to make amends. Not so with toxic people. These people inflict pain on…

Relationships

4 min read

How to Identify Safe People
How to Identify Safe People
Relationships

4 min read


Published in The Virago

·Feb 20

How Coercive Controllers Make You Believe You are Worthless

The hard to understand early stages of domestic abuse — I’ve read every book I can find about coercive control. As I have navigated my own recovery from being imprisoned with a controller for more than two decades, finding my own story within pages written by others has been validating and reassuring. Turns out I’m not crazy after all. For…

Tell Your Story

8 min read

How Coercive Controllers Make You Believe You are Worthless
How Coercive Controllers Make You Believe You are Worthless
Tell Your Story

8 min read


Published in Bariatric Surgery Blog

·Jan 9

I’m Not Fat Anymore, Thanks to Bariatric Surgery

My life is so much better, and I don’t care what the fat-acceptance warriors think. — There, I’ve already got the cardinal sin of weight loss stories out of the way. The photo on the right was taken a couple of days ago with 80% of my excess weight gone. There is a 12 month period and 42 kg difference between these photos. …

Weight Loss

4 min read

I’m Not Fat Anymore, Thanks to Bariatric Surgery
I’m Not Fat Anymore, Thanks to Bariatric Surgery
Weight Loss

4 min read


Published in Equality Includes You

·May 25, 2022

A Question for Pro-Gun Republicans: Is the Price Worth It?

Reflections from an outsider looking in. — My husband runs a Facebook group for owners of a particular model of Harley Davidson motorcycle. He is a kiwi, who has lived in Australia since we met a little under seven years ago. …

Gun Violence

2 min read

A Question for Pro-Gun Republicans: Is the Price Worth It?
A Question for Pro-Gun Republicans: Is the Price Worth It?
Gun Violence

2 min read


Published in Bariatric Surgery Blog

·Apr 15, 2022

Swapping Large Meals for a Big Life

Reflections on my first month following weight loss surgery — A little over five weeks ago I donned a surgical gown and navigating a mix of fear and excitement, allowed a surgeon, who I trusted as much as you can, to remove 85% of my stomach. Looking back I’m still amazed I had the courage. My stomach was not diseased…

Weight Loss

5 min read

Swapping Large Meals for a Big Life
Swapping Large Meals for a Big Life
Weight Loss

5 min read


Feb 26, 2022

Saying Farewell to Fearless She Wrote

Goodbye to the publication that gave me back my voice. — But how do you thank someone, who has taken you from crayons to perfume? It isn’t easy but I’ll try. To Sir With Love, Lulu (1967) I am currently working on two main writing projects. One, which will take as long as it takes, is a memoir of my experience…

Fearless

4 min read

Saying Farewell to Fearless She Wrote
Saying Farewell to Fearless She Wrote
Fearless

4 min read


Published in Bariatric Surgery Blog

·Feb 7, 2022

Why I’m Having 85% of My Stomach Removed

I’m convinced life is better without excess weight. — There, I said it. I’ll brace myself now for the backlash. We in the western world live in a precarious state where one has to consider very carefully the ramifications of being honest. …

Weight Loss

3 min read

Why I’m Having 85% of My Stomach Removed
Why I’m Having 85% of My Stomach Removed
Weight Loss

3 min read


Published in Bariatric Surgery Blog

·Feb 7, 2022

Surgery Delayed, But Not My Journey to a Better Life

Extra time to prepare myself for a whole new way of eating. — Until the Omicron ‘variant of concern’ arrived on Australia’s shores in November it would be reasonable to say that most Aussies still didn’t know anyone who had been infected with Covid-19. That all changed ten or so weeks ago when the Omicron variant hit the shores of ‘fortress Australia’. Conservative…

Weight Loss

3 min read

Surgery Delayed, But Not My Journey to a Better Life
Surgery Delayed, But Not My Journey to a Better Life
Weight Loss

3 min read


Published in Bariatric Surgery Blog

·Dec 29, 2021

I’m Starting 2022 With Weight Loss Surgery

The journey to the decision. — Two months ago, my husband and I took a much needed mini-break to the country. It was just prior to the Omicron variant invading Australia’s shores, and restrictions on travelling to the regions of my home state of New South Wales had just lifted. …

Weight Loss Surgery

4 min read

I’m Starting 2022 With Weight Loss Surgery
I’m Starting 2022 With Weight Loss Surgery
Weight Loss Surgery

4 min read


Published in Equality Includes You

·Dec 26, 2021

The New South Wales Parliament Will Move to Criminalize Coercive Control

It’s time for this lawyer to do her part. — I remember watching the movie Die Hard with my first husband, five or so years into our marriage and him making the comment that if he was held hostage he would see no problem murdering his captor if it meant securing his own freedom. Few would disagree. But what happens…

Coercive Control

5 min read

The New South Wales Parliament Will Move to Criminalize Coercive Control
The New South Wales Parliament Will Move to Criminalize Coercive Control
Coercive Control

5 min read

Matilda Fairholm

Matilda Fairholm

2.7K Followers

Writing to rescue others from the devastation of domestic abuse, and learning to live better. https://matildafairholm.medium.com/membership

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