Saying Farewell to Fearless She Wrote
But how do you thank someone, who has taken you from crayons to perfume? It isn’t easy but I’ll try.
To Sir With Love, Lulu (1967)
I am currently working on two main writing projects. One, which will take as long as it takes, is a memoir of my experience of having my personhood gradually dismantled and discarded through the torture of coercive control. The other, which I would have submitted to Fearless She Wrote within the next two weeks, is a provocative piece which urges the doing away with the term “domestic violence” and replacing it with “coercive control”.
In it I make a case for this fundamental shift as a way to firstly raise community awareness and assist with a move towards criminalization of coercive control, but also to disempower the ‘men’s rights’, ‘father’s rights’ and other groups that passionately diminish the life-destroying effects of intimate partner violence and abuse and try to convince the world that men are victims as much as women.
It was while researching for this second project yesterday that I checked my less-used email account that is set up for my pseudonym and read a Patreon email to supporters letting me know that Gillian, Jessica and Maggie had made the difficult decision to close the publication.
I admit that I wasn't overly surprised. Medium has made it exceedingly difficult for publications like Fearless to carry on after withdrawing partner support for publications in January and the editors of Fearless are humans with lives, just like the rest of us.
I understand and respect their decision, but leaving a comment on their piece felt inadequate. So I want to let these three wonderful woman know just what they have done for this woman from Australia, a woman who had never written at all until she found Medium, and found her voice with Fearless.
The first piece I submitted was rejected, and looking back I can see why. My second submission, a short tribute to the daughter I never had, was published and there began a relationship spanning more than two years.